The life of a lady comic

I met a creepy man at the bar after my stand up show the other night. He kept telling me that he was from Miami and that his family owns most of the buildings in Hoboken, NJ. I guess he was trying to impress me...whatever. Real estate and geographical locations usually don't impress me as much as phrenology or, say, hair product purchases. He also informed me that his father helped Roger Dangerfield start the famous New York City club. Anyway, he told me that I am a star and I obviously don't have the proper representation. He offered to take me on for 6 months to "see what I could do in that time". He promised Letterman, Leno, tours...gold, hoboken buildings, etc. Then he looked at my boobs and licked his lips, over and over and over again.

If I had a dollar for every time this happened, I could finance this blog and global warming efforts. I like greenhouse gasses yo.

Just a comment

You can tell whether or not I am happy at a day job by the number of naps I take in the office bathroom stall. Currently, my day is full of naps.

New York City (Douche) vs. My Anti-Depressants (Non-Douche)

I live in New York City and I love New York City, however it got the best of me last week. Usually, my medicated brain and body can handle it...not this time. The weather, the midtown tourists, the "Save the Children" pestering (I'm not a fan of the child), the smell of homeless piss in the subways, the subways in general, my day job, my night job, my husband and his face, my fat legs, etc....all added up to one big shitstorm.

My crazy pills didn't stand a chance this week.

Winner: NYC - by a landslide


Image: nyctripquote.nyctrip.com